Sixteen Things I’ve Learned After Sixteen Days in Edinburgh
- The Festival has turned a lovely, historic, architecturally-grandiose city into Los Angeles for the span of one month. This is in terms of levels of delusion, networking, and alcohol consumption.
- It kind of smells like a hamster cage.
- My skin was in better shape under London pollution than an Edinburgh diet.
- The Free Fringe attracts the real freaks. For better or worse.
- Practical footwear is your best friend. You might climb Arthur’s Seat at sunset, then traverse down in the dark.
- Alone time? Aw, that’s cute.
- It’s easier to be an American here because there’s no one the Scots hate more than the English. Actually, now that I think about it, no one makes a fuss about my Americanism. It’s probably because everyone would rather talk about their own shows. Fine by me.
- GIVE ME A FIVE STAR REVIEW NOWWWWWWWWWW.
- Stop trying to figure out people’s sexual preferences. Just…stop.
- There are a lot more celebrities in the world of comedy than I was aware of. I may or may not have unknowingly yelled at Dara O’Briain the other night when a friend of his annihilated my foot on the dance floor. Whatevs, she didn’t even apologize!
- A vegetable consumed is like the feeling of water in the desert.
- Nudity and dick jokes does not a good cabaret make.
- Nudity and dick jokes does not a good stand up make.
- Nudity and dick jokes does not a good sketch show make. (Unless you’re the Beta Males, then you get a pass on this one)
- Where the ethnic minorities at?
- Guys, seriously, I can’t drink tonight.