a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something.
I like this definition. Let’s go with that.
Since I’ll be packing my bags in about a week’s time to head back to London and I’m feeling rather…unsure about it, I decided to make a list of the things I’m going to do in 2012 to make London the experience I want it to be. The adventure. I want to be resolute in my decision to move my life across the Atlantic, far far away from everyone, everything and everywhere I know. 2011 wasn’t an easy ride in ye olde Londinium.
- MAKE LONDON MY BITCH. No more logistical nightmares. No more letting those pushy little twats who budge in front of me to get into the tube get the best of me. No more internet-less house. NO MORE, LONDON. I say nay! NAAAAAY!
- See more theater. So much more theater. Saturday afternoon, I’m getting my small American bum down to the West End, seeing what tickets I can get for cheap and I’m falling back in love with theater. I want to see the best actors in the world. I want to see plays that move me to tears. Heck, I’ll even see the crap. Just get my butt in the chair. Theater, it’s what I went there to study, so I need to you know…see it.
- Travel! I’m on the other side of the world, people! The world. I have to take advantage of that. I did have a lovely excursion to Galway for a long weekend in December. I need more of that. In less than 2 hours on a train I can be all over England…the beautiful lake district, Brighton, cliffs of Dover, and lots of grassy farmland filled with SHEEP and old men in tweed coats. I also absolutely positively will go to Italy. I know I’ll be heading to Edinburgh for the Fringe this summer. Oh, boy. Other places on my agenda: the south of France, the Spanish coast, Morocco, somewhere in Eastern Europe and Belgium. I hear the waffles are great.
- And in order to do all of that, Imma need a JOB.
- Say out loud at least once a day, “I live in London.” On one of our last days before break, Andres and I were cavorting about our new ‘hood in Hampstead and as the sun shone over a chilly London day, we smiled and exclaimed, “We LIVE in LONDON!” I want to have that feeling or excitement and awe once a day, even at least for a little.
- Throw myself into my studies. I was a little weary about my course during this first term. Doing research over the break on a subject I’m really passionate about, I remembered why I’m in grad school. And you know that school is what I’m good at.
- On that note, also: Accept failures. I work hard, really really hard and am devastated when things don’t work out. Be it school, work, love, family, my attempts to be an athlete. Grad school is a place where you’re meant to try a lot of things, challenge your own ideas…and sometimes fail. I have to be okay with that. Like Conan said, “Failure is freeing…Whether you fear it or not, true disappointment will come but with disappointment comes clarity, conviction and true originality.”
- Speaking of accepting failures, I’m gonna ask some dudes out. That’s right dudes of London, I’m asking you out. Because you know what? Dudes in London rarely ask ladies out, it just doesn’t happen. So I’ll make it happen, or at least try, probably go on some horrendously bad dates, maybe some good ones. The very least I can ask for is a bit of fun and some fodder for future posts.
- Make some art of my own. I so miss being a part of the theater world, being on stage, being back stage. I miss making playlists for the dressing room. I miss warm-ups in the green room. I miss the camaraderie. I want my comedy to really take off. So you know what? I’ll just have to do it.
- Enjoy where I am. I’ve always pushed, my whole life. I feel the need to constantly plan, know the next step. I know how far my ambition will take me, but I also have to take in what’s happening in the moment. I can’t live in the future. As cool as space and time travel may be.
- Make more phone calls. I want to hear from people and talk to them more. Rather than every conversation being a massive hour-long catch up session, I’d like to have some where we just shoot the shit. Shootin’ the shit. 2012.
- Tell the people I love that I love them. Often.
- Be kinder to myself. Have you met me? Actually, I think that’s something everyone should do. Be kinder to themselves…and um, me. (kidding..heh…heh)
- Learn a ridiculous amount of London fun facts. I love fun facts! I think this will require lots and lots of dedicated hours of studying…with Quizzo. Which leads me into my next:
- Go out more! I thankfully have an awesome gang of weekenders who are always up for a night on the town. Why not have that same enthusiasm on Tuesdays? I’m down.
So London, you ready for me?